In times of sorrow there is also great healing and peace

Hi, friends

The last few weeks have been hard.  On Mother's Day a tragic accident happened to a family of our church.  Their son was leaving church and was involved in a tragic accident.  He passed away.  After receiving this news I was instantly heartbroken for these people whom I call my friends, whom I call my family in Christ. Their lives were instantly turned upside down on a day that should have been a day of celebration.  There are no words to describe how terrible this was.  On the way back to Huntsville I had made a few plans to help in any way that I could.  After visiting with them on that Monday I was even more heartbroken, but there was also something stirring.  I could feel it in my soul.  God is so good y'all.  Through this he was working in the lives of a lot of people.  I couldn't really see the full impact on our church as a whole at that moment, but I knew we were all grieving along side this sweet family.    Come Wednesday night services I go to my class for the night and someone comes in and lets us know that the family was there and we were going to pray over them.  When I entered the sanctuary you could feel the sorrow.  You could feel the love throughout the whole room.  Our church as a whole was grieving.  We were mourning the loss of someone we loved and someone we have prayed for.  Someone we had seen God answer many prayers for.  Someone who came to know who Jesus was.  Someone who had struggled back and forth, but still sought after Jesus.  We grieve for a family who consistently seek the Father.  We grieve for our family.  After the family had come in and we prayed over them I look up to see a circle of people who love and care about them.  People were crying and weeping.  I didn't even realize there was that many people on Wednesday nights, honestly.  I saw faces of people that I did not even know. That night we didn't even make it through our lesson.  It was a night for grieving and healing.  It was a night for us to come together as a church and grieve together.  I can't tell you that I left feeling joy that night, but I can tell you that I left feeling the healing power of God.  I felt a true peace that surpasses all understanding.  A peace and comfort that only comes from the Father.  I felt a love that crosses all boundaries. I can't think of a time that I have ever seen a church family come together in such a way that I have seen with this.  It was one of the most beautiful things I have EVER witnessed.  I will remember it for the rest of my days.  I could go on and on about it, but all I really want to say is this, if you don't belong to a church family or if you don't know who Jesus is and how he radically changes lives and builds relationships and Saves, protects, guards, fights for you, heals, loves beyond comprehension, and all of everything then you are truly missing out on something special.  They will never get to see or talk to their son again on this earth, but they have peace, hope, joy and restoration in Jesus.  They know that this was never his final home.  They know that they will see him again.  They know that they have a church family who will stand along side them and walk them through this terrible season of sorrow and loss.  I truly love our church and everyone in it.

edited to add:  I forgot to mention a few important events that happened in between all this time and after, but one I wanted to mention was that following Sunday morning.  I was running late to church so I came in a few minutes after service started.  When I walked in the door I saw a people standing side by side towards the middle of the church arm around arm and hand in hand!  They were singing a song without any music.  The praise band came together in one line on stage and with one BODY they worshiped.  What a blessing it was to see this.  It was truly magical and beautiful.  OF course, after this song they broke off and service went on as usual.  IT was powerful.  It was love.  It was one body filled with a lot of people.  I am so thankful I was able to witness such a wonderful thing. 

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14(NIV):
13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

John 11:25-26 (NIV):
25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

With love,
Felicia

A day in the life

Hello:

This past week was spring break for my boys.  They were able to go camping earlier in the week with grandparents.  Then, the rest of the week we tried to do something fun each day.  We went to the library one day and played in the yard another day.  Late Thursday night Dustin and I decided to take a day trip Friday up to Chattanooga with the boys and visit the Tennessee aquarium!  We got up early Friday morning and set out on our trip.  We ate breakfast on the road and off we went.  The boys were so excited to be going on a road trip.  I would not tell them where we were going, but I did print them out several activities to do on the way up there with hints on where we were going.  After a 2 hour drive we finally reached the aquarium.  Just a hint if you decide to go parking is NOT fun.  The place was packed and we ended up parking several blocks away.  Not a big deal.  We purchased our tickets and off we went to explore the aquarium.  This aquarium is divided into 2 different segments.  They have one building the is dedicated to the RIVER (freshwater) and there is another building that is dedicated to the ocean (saltwater).  WE decided to go with the river building first thinking that we wanted to save the ocean for last.  However, we were really pleased with the river side.  They had so many things to look at.  I was pleasantly surprised with how fun and awesome this side of the aquarium was.  We even got to witness some scuba divers feeding the rays.  Talk about BEAUTIFUL!  They were so big coming up the glass that they scared Carter!  It was so funny.  It was pretty understandable.  Especially since some of these rays looked bigger than even I am.  They were larger than Carter and Dexter for sure.  Dexter LOVED it.  He did not want to leave.  It took us quite a while to get through this building so we were all very hungry after.  We decided to grab lunch before we went to through the ocean building.  We walked a ways up a street and ate at the local mellow mushroom.  I have only ate at mellow mushroom three separate times and only one of them has been good.  It wasn't this one.  My pizza had no flavor.  The service was great though.  So, lunch was disappointing, but that wasn't going to stop us from having fun.  The boys were fueled up and ready to go.  We got back to the aquarium and went through the ocean side.  By this time my camera had died and I had to resort to cell phone pictures.  They didn't turn out as good, but at least I have them.  I have to say, we were not as impressed with the ocean side.  I figured that would be the highlight of the trip.  Either we were all tired and done by this time or it just wasn't very impressive.  Dustin and I both agreed that the river side was the better side of the aquarium.  After leaving we were going to visit Ruby Falls, but the boys were done "looking" at things and just wanted to play so we decided to just head home.  After all it was 5:30 by this time.  Thoughts on this aquarium:  The Atlanta aquarium is better.  The ocean side just paled in comparison to the Atlanta aquarium.  I would really like to go back there in the future.   All in all it was a great trip and I hope to go back to Chattanooga in the future and visit the other attractions they have there.  Ruby falls, and the discovery kids museum are next on the list.  Have you been to Ruby Falls?  What other attractions would you suggest for Chattanooga?

Looking at life

King Solomon in Ecclesiastes gives us a great image of how life can be so meaningless without God.

The last few days around here have been rough to say the least.  I live 2 hours away from family who I can call if I am in dire need of some help.  I have plenty of friends who I know I could call, but they all have children too and I don't want to get any of them sick.  So I don't call.  Both of my kids are sick.  It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't sick every 2-3 weeks this winter.  Specifically, Carter.  The boy is full of so much joy and happiness when he is feeling well, but when he is sick that is another story.  He becomes me when I am sick.  I have to tell you.  I am not the best sick person.  I get tired, angry, whiny, and become a pile of mush with all the tears.  It is exhausting taking care of that.  Yes, I should apologize to anyone who has had to take care of me in the past.  If it was you I am sorry.  Today I decide it is time to go to the doctor.  We get there and one has a major ear infection and the other shows all signs of a sinus infection.  Praise be to the lord for negative strep and flu results.  We've already had the flu once this winter.  Out the door we go and we just get to the car when Dexter falls on the ground in pain because his stomach is hurting.  Yes, my child falls on the pavement in the middle of the parking lot because of his stomach hurting so bad.  I finally get to the car try to open the door and my car key battery is dead so I have to fish the keys out of my huge bag.  Open the door manually and I hit the unlock button.  At this point all I can think of is just getting us home.  Well, the unlock button for some reason will not unlock the back doors.  All the while Dexter is still on the pavement crying.  I crank the car and it lets me unlock the back doors.  No sooner than I get both boys in their car seats Dexter starts dry heaving.  At this point I am racing to the other side of the car saying please don't puke in my car, please!  I grab him out of his seat and bend him over so he can puke in the parking lot.  Which he does.  I tell him to hang on and run back into the doctors office to grab a puke bucket from them for the car ride home.  Thankfully we didn't need it and he fell asleep on the way home.  All of this to say we have had a very hard morning.  I was up all through the night with sick babies too.  I myself do not feel good and I am worn so thin.  I can't even see my thin line anymore.  On the way home I am throwing myself a big pity party so I stop by sonic and order me a combo plus an onion ring for good measure.  The caffeine is helping.  Plus, both boys are napping so I am able to refill my energy a bit without a constant need of something.  I sit down to read my bible because I am feeling so worn down.  To the point where I am questioning everything.  Why is it so hard?  Why is it this?  Why is it that?  I am fussing in my mind because I have a million things to do and no time already to do it and now I have 2 sick boys and a not feeling good momma.  I am thinking maybe there's something I am missing.  Maybe it isn't supposed to be this hard.  Maybe God will reveal something to me in his word and it will make things instantly better.  Well, he does come through.  Just not always in the way you are expecting.  Today I am reading in Ecclesiastes and reading what King Solomon is saying.  This was a great king who had everything he could have ever wanted.  He had riches, smarts, respect, etc.  Yet, at the end of his life he is saying non of this matters without God.  Life isn't about all the things.  It is about glorifying God and being within God's will.  I was reading the commentary to Ecclesiastes 1:8-11 and it said, "Many people feel restless and dissatisfied.  They wonder: (1) if I am in God's will, why am I so tired and unfulfilled? (2) What is the meaning of life? (3) When I look back on it all, will I be happy with my accomplishments? (4) Why do I feel burned out, disillusioned, dry? (5) What is to become of me?  Solomon tests our faith, challenging us to find true and lasting meaning in God alone.  As you take a hard look at your life, as Solomon did his, you will see how important serving God is over all other options.  Perhaps God is asking you to rethink your purpose and direction in life, just as Solomon did in Ecclesiastes."  Wow!  How spot on was that?  I have all these questions about why is it so hard, etc. and there it is in front of me.  It doesn't have to be that hard.  My eyes are just focused in the wrong areas.  I think that I am pleasing God by putting on all the extra work load when all he is asking is for me to look to him for the purpose and meaning.  Not to all the stuff.  I should not be living to please man.  It should be to please God.  I just have to figure out the difference between what God really is asking me to do and what man is asking me to do.  Because all the things I do are not bad in and of themselves, but just maybe by me saying yes to all these "extra" things I am saying no to the possibility of letting God allow someone else to step up and fulfill that potential that they have.  It is about balance.  My prayer for today is about balance and seeking after God's will alone.  No one else.

I hope you all have had a wonderful day.  I am going to let the words of King Solomon penetrate my heart today.  I am going to meditate on what the Lord is trying to tell me.  Will you search for his will in your life today?

With love,
Felicia.

Kitchen tools I can't live without

Hi, friends.

Today I come to you after fixing my little family a pot of delicious chili.  While I was prepping to fix this amazing dinner the thought came to me that I should share some kitchen gadgets that is worth investing your money into. 

This weekend I went to my aunt Debra's house to play a game of phase 10 and hang out with the people I so rarely get to see anymore.  When I got over there she wanted to make her some lemonade and use up the lemons that she had before they went bad.  I saw that she was hand squeezing these lemons.  Now, friends, you may want to go and work those hand muscles out and squeeze lemons my aunt Debra's way.  However, I promise with a few tools your life will move a little quicker.  Unless of course you prefer to relax and slow down and do without these products.  Below you will find a picture of some of my favorite kitchen tools that I use pretty much everyday.  They save me time and energy and are so helpful in the kitchen. 

Let me tell you a little about each thing in this picture. 
 - Wood cutting board - They are so much better to cut on.  I don't understand why I just know that my knife works better at cutting on a solid wood cutting board.  It also helps if it is cute.  I do not like cleaning it though.  If you get one make sure you wash it off immediately after use and do not let water sit on it.  You can also scrub it with half a lemon with salt on it.  I saw one person add a drop of Olive oil to hers after thoroughly cleaning to help it not to dry out. 
 - The little white thing on the board is a rubber tube that I put garlic in and roll around.  It takes the papery shell right off of the garlic.  No more using your fingers to peel or smashing your garlic.  You can easily find these on Amazon.  Mine came from pampered chef at someone's party, but any rubber tube will work. 
 - Chef's knife - do I need to say more?  This knife has been a time saver in my kitchen.  I taught myself how to chop vegetables with this and it saves me so much time chopping. 
 - Sharp pairing knife - Key word here, SHARP.  A good sharp pairing knife will be your best friend for any type of quick cutting.  I mainly use mine for cutting up fruit or vegetables that don't require lots of chopping.
 - whisk - I don't necessarily use this small one all that often, but I can't live without my larger whisk.  Everyone needs a whisk in their kitchen.  I used to go old school and just use a fork, but once I got a whisk I haven't looked back.  My favorite thing to use my whisk with is pancake batter.  It helps get the clumps out so good. 
 - lemon squeezer - Need I say more after my aunt Debra story.  I could live without this, but the best thing about this is it keeps the seeds out of my juice.  It also helps me with the hand squeezing.
 - Garlic press - If you use garlic on anything you need one of these.  Your welcome.  Dustin is always joking around about me saying "what does she not put garlic on".  Trust me, use garlic, and use the press. 
 - Tongs - I don't use these metal ones much because I use my non stick pan more often, but I have a pair that has the silicone end that you are able to use on non stick pans.  I am pretty sure I use it for more than I ever thought I would use it for. 

So, there you go.  A list of my top kitchen gadgets.  I did not include my kitchen shears, but they are up there too.  If you want a quick way to cut up pancakes for kids.  USE the kitchen scissors.  OR, use a pizza cutter.  I hope you enjoyed this post.  What are your favorite kitchen gadgets?

~Enjoy

Sometimes I am still broken but not always

Today has been one of those days.  One of those days where you become worn thin before the evening is even up.  I have run myself ragged this week.  Dexter started school back after the holidays.  That means every morning I am up taking him to school.  On top of that classes started back for me as well.  I have also been going to the gym twice a week for the last few weeks with Dustin.  Going to the gym with Dustin in the afternoons is a hard thing for me to do.  I am normally prepping dinner starting around 4 to have it done when he gets home from work.  When I go to the gym with him we both leave around 4 to meet at the gym.  He leaves from work and I leave from home.  This means that dinner does not get put on until I arrive back at home close to 6.  It is a sacrifice in routine that I have to make to get my body feeling better strength wise.  On top of all of that my bible study class started this Wednesday as well.  None of these things I am complaining about.  I just wanted to give the back story to why I am feeling more run down than usual.  I did not finish my workout today.  I was drained of all the energy I had before I had completed everything I needed to do.  Sometimes you need to listen to your body.  When it says I can’t do this anymore you stop.  Doing something is better than nothing.  My sweet husband is so patient and kind.  Some days I feel like I don’t deserve him.  I am characteristically high maintenance for whatever that means.  My moods are determined by my energy.  When I am worn out I tend to lean towards the snappy/emotional side.  I promise I am working on it daily.  I just know how I am.  I have been thinking lately about the time Marie died.  How I found out she passed away.  My counselor says that I need to work through this to hopefully work my way through the grieving process.  I have been stuck in it for far too long.  I don’t know if I will ever get through it.  My heart is still broken.  I still hurt so much because she’s not in my life.  I miss her more than I have ever missed anything in this life.  Her death will always be a tragedy.  Now, back to what I was saying.  I have been working through the things that I remember about the day she died.  I can actually think through some of this now without feeling like my throat is going to close off from trying not to cry.  I remember being in my college English class sitting next to a girl that I went to high school with.  Back then I had a pre-paid cell phone.  When I ran out of minutes I could still text.  I received a text message from my aunt.  I can’t even remember what it said, but I told her I was in class was it important or something to that degree.  She said for me to call her immediately.  I asked to borrow the girl sitting next to me cell phone.  I walked into the hallway and immediately called my aunt.  I was fully expecting to hear that something bad had happened to my mom because she was the one I had been expecting to pass since I was very young.  That’s another story in and of itself.  I did not hear that at all but what I heard couldn’t have been right.  She was crying hysterically saying Marie is dead!  I rush back into the classroom grab my books and leave.   All the while everyone around me is asking me if I was okay.  I don’t even remember how fast I was going to get home that day.  All I remember is calling out no no no the whole way home because it just didn’t seem right or real.  I remember calling Dustin but cannot remember what I said to him.  I just know that he left work and came all the way back to Hokes Bluff for me.  Back then we had not been together all that long.  About a year and a half or so.  He stayed with me I think the first few nights. Not like that means anything because I was up for 24 plus hours crying off an on.  I just remember not being able to stop crying.  I cried that whole night.  I cried more than I have every cried in my life.  I was broken beyond repair.  The sweet man who held me and let me drench his shirt in tears is that same man who still does that if I need a shoulder to cry on today.  He loves me beyond what I could have ever imagine was possible.  God has really blessed me and also shown me what a selfless love truly looks like.  A love like that can only be a reflection of the love that Christ has for me.  That God has for me.  This year will be 10 years that my sister/mother passed away.  10 years that my heart has had a hole in it.  10 years of a missing piece.  I still miss her more than ever.  I am healing.  However, having to explain to your 5 year old that he has an aunt he will never know is not something I wish I had to do.  Trying to get him to understand is even harder.  He registers what I am saying but he honestly just does not know who she is.  It does go to show that I need to be able to talk about her and talk about her life and who she was so maybe one day they can understand that I have another sister.  We had the why don’t you have a dad conversation a while back during the whole stage in life when they start making connections such as daddy is gigi and pawpaw’s son and mommy is memaws daughter.  He realized I did not have a dad.  However, when he sees the siblings he doesn’t realize that one is missing.  I apologize for the sad post tonight.  I hope that I can get a New Year’s post up sometime in the future.  I don’t write much lately.  It probably has something to do with me having to write so much for my classes or the fact that I am a stay at home mom who does everything.  If only you could peek into my calendar and to do list.  Hardest job I have ever had.  I really need to set some new year’s goals.  I always set goals, but this year it may just be to get through the chaos. HA! It is not that bad, but just a sneak peak at the upcoming chaos.  We “may” be selling our house and moving.  I say “may” because everything will need to time up right in order for us to do so.  We’re just praying for God’s will to be done and if it is time that means it is time.  I hope that you all are having a wonderful evening.  I am going to get off of here and go hang out with my husband a little before bed.  A good movie is calling my name.  Love you all.