Thursday, January 11, 2018

Sometimes I am still broken but not always

Today has been one of those days.  One of those days where you become worn thin before the evening is even up.  I have run myself ragged this week.  Dexter started school back after the holidays.  That means every morning I am up taking him to school.  On top of that classes started back for me as well.  I have also been going to the gym twice a week for the last few weeks with Dustin.  Going to the gym with Dustin in the afternoons is a hard thing for me to do.  I am normally prepping dinner starting around 4 to have it done when he gets home from work.  When I go to the gym with him we both leave around 4 to meet at the gym.  He leaves from work and I leave from home.  This means that dinner does not get put on until I arrive back at home close to 6.  It is a sacrifice in routine that I have to make to get my body feeling better strength wise.  On top of all of that my bible study class started this Wednesday as well.  None of these things I am complaining about.  I just wanted to give the back story to why I am feeling more run down than usual.  I did not finish my workout today.  I was drained of all the energy I had before I had completed everything I needed to do.  Sometimes you need to listen to your body.  When it says I can’t do this anymore you stop.  Doing something is better than nothing.  My sweet husband is so patient and kind.  Some days I feel like I don’t deserve him.  I am characteristically high maintenance for whatever that means.  My moods are determined by my energy.  When I am worn out I tend to lean towards the snappy/emotional side.  I promise I am working on it daily.  I just know how I am.  I have been thinking lately about the time Marie died.  How I found out she passed away.  My counselor says that I need to work through this to hopefully work my way through the grieving process.  I have been stuck in it for far too long.  I don’t know if I will ever get through it.  My heart is still broken.  I still hurt so much because she’s not in my life.  I miss her more than I have ever missed anything in this life.  Her death will always be a tragedy.  Now, back to what I was saying.  I have been working through the things that I remember about the day she died.  I can actually think through some of this now without feeling like my throat is going to close off from trying not to cry.  I remember being in my college English class sitting next to a girl that I went to high school with.  Back then I had a pre-paid cell phone.  When I ran out of minutes I could still text.  I received a text message from my aunt.  I can’t even remember what it said, but I told her I was in class was it important or something to that degree.  She said for me to call her immediately.  I asked to borrow the girl sitting next to me cell phone.  I walked into the hallway and immediately called my aunt.  I was fully expecting to hear that something bad had happened to my mom because she was the one I had been expecting to pass since I was very young.  That’s another story in and of itself.  I did not hear that at all but what I heard couldn’t have been right.  She was crying hysterically saying Marie is dead!  I rush back into the classroom grab my books and leave.   All the while everyone around me is asking me if I was okay.  I don’t even remember how fast I was going to get home that day.  All I remember is calling out no no no the whole way home because it just didn’t seem right or real.  I remember calling Dustin but cannot remember what I said to him.  I just know that he left work and came all the way back to Hokes Bluff for me.  Back then we had not been together all that long.  About a year and a half or so.  He stayed with me I think the first few nights. Not like that means anything because I was up for 24 plus hours crying off an on.  I just remember not being able to stop crying.  I cried that whole night.  I cried more than I have every cried in my life.  I was broken beyond repair.  The sweet man who held me and let me drench his shirt in tears is that same man who still does that if I need a shoulder to cry on today.  He loves me beyond what I could have ever imagine was possible.  God has really blessed me and also shown me what a selfless love truly looks like.  A love like that can only be a reflection of the love that Christ has for me.  That God has for me.  This year will be 10 years that my sister/mother passed away.  10 years that my heart has had a hole in it.  10 years of a missing piece.  I still miss her more than ever.  I am healing.  However, having to explain to your 5 year old that he has an aunt he will never know is not something I wish I had to do.  Trying to get him to understand is even harder.  He registers what I am saying but he honestly just does not know who she is.  It does go to show that I need to be able to talk about her and talk about her life and who she was so maybe one day they can understand that I have another sister.  We had the why don’t you have a dad conversation a while back during the whole stage in life when they start making connections such as daddy is gigi and pawpaw’s son and mommy is memaws daughter.  He realized I did not have a dad.  However, when he sees the siblings he doesn’t realize that one is missing.  I apologize for the sad post tonight.  I hope that I can get a New Year’s post up sometime in the future.  I don’t write much lately.  It probably has something to do with me having to write so much for my classes or the fact that I am a stay at home mom who does everything.  If only you could peek into my calendar and to do list.  Hardest job I have ever had.  I really need to set some new year’s goals.  I always set goals, but this year it may just be to get through the chaos. HA! It is not that bad, but just a sneak peak at the upcoming chaos.  We “may” be selling our house and moving.  I say “may” because everything will need to time up right in order for us to do so.  We’re just praying for God’s will to be done and if it is time that means it is time.  I hope that you all are having a wonderful evening.  I am going to get off of here and go hang out with my husband a little before bed.  A good movie is calling my name.  Love you all.  

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